8th day since Ahmah went, i still can't accept.

the matriarch of our family, my Ahmah had just passed away..
it was sudden but i guess, everyone just had to deal it..

cousin, cousin-in-law, niece and Dad were present when the incident happened.

they said that Ahmah threw up bout half a bucket of blood, can you imagine?

I did not experienced that myself but I know it'll be very traumatising for them.

all the memories came flooding by as I thought of her, a strong and dignified lady who dedicate herself to this family.

She was the one who :

• shield me from canings
• tied fanciful hairstyles for me during primary school
• drew my art
• prepares scrumptious meals for the family
• took care of me when I'd shingles.
• gave me assurance when Mom fell at home
• angbaos during birthdays
  

and of cuz, lots more..

recalling back, her health was deteriorating tremendously fast this yr.
however, you can see she was persevering hard.

the salmonella incident hit her hard early this yr and not long after, she underwent a Balloon procedure, there after, she was diagnosed w dementia.

can you guys imagine the toil on her aged body, the medicines she took and the procedures?

thinking bout all these will only bring about more regret for me..

I had not been spending quality time w her till I know she's getting weaker..

i still remember clearly the few incidents when I went to visit her..

she may seem to have forgotten my name,

but she was still smiling and chatting w me happily!

but who knows on Sunday she had a sudden cardiac arrest/ ischaemic heart disease?

esp when she had the 'successful' Balloon procedure?

fuck it!

all I can do now is to be rly filial and good.

ain't gna let myself have such regrets again.

it's too terrible to take..

I'll make sure I'll take time to go my Granny's hse and definitely, my family.