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I wish I could just cry and cry till the time stops.
the anger, the sadness, all the negativity are all stuck inside me.
I'm feeling so terrible.
why whenever I'm upset it gotta be exam or some crucial period?
I can't vent, I can do nuts.
can't believe the guy I love so much, actually did such things.
it's irrational and impulsive of me to confront him.
everybody said it was wrong.
confided in my mom like usual and got I reprimanded.
she thought all along, I'm matured.
she said everyday I seem to be very occupied and thought that I'd gotten over this r/s.
but why such things were to happen to me. She says I'm immature.
she says he's not mine, he can fool around for all he wants.
she scolds me for not being able to put the past behind me.
she ask me why all along, I seem so fine and was so strong in handling everything but failed in doing so.
I wna break down in front of her. but nothing came out.
I wna cry but Idk what's e purpose of crying.
can someone just beat the guts out of me?
What's inside me is killing me.
Can someone just save me? I gotta revise for my UT3s not to be over here being so upset that it's gone.
that's really stupid. fucking stupid! why am so stupid?
fuck! I'm supposed to give up and forget bout everything.
but why even till now, I'm still thinking bout him? why!!!!!!
why should I even be part of his past?
why should I even confront him?
why should I even held my hopes high?
why should I even be forever concerned bout him?
why should I even feel the hurt?
how can someone let go so easily?
why must I be the one feeling so terrible?
I still care and that's dumb of me.
Can I stop caring? Can I?
till this very min, I'm still concerned. can someone just punch me? CANNN!??!!?
now, I understand why ppl resort to drinking.
it makes you pour out everything.
it makes you feel btr.
I needa get a drink.
why should I even be part of his past?
why should I even confront him?
why should I even held my hopes high?
why should I even be forever concerned bout him?
why should I even feel the hurt?
how can someone let go so easily?
why must I be the one feeling so terrible?
I still care and that's dumb of me.
Can I stop caring? Can I?
till this very min, I'm still concerned. can someone just punch me? CANNN!??!!?
now, I understand why ppl resort to drinking.
it makes you pour out everything.
it makes you feel btr.
I needa get a drink.
FUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Desiree
ReplyDeleteI chanced upon this blog. I find it extremely hard to not talk to my ex as well... she was my closest friend, occasionally there will still be times where I sink into negativity. My breakup with her was just recent. She left me for another guy and because of my constant pestering, we turn from possible friends, to not being able to be friends at all and now enemies. My fellow comrade. It is extremely hard to live in the present, we as humans like to go back and whenever we see a familiar place, hear a familiar song, the memories come back.
I learn it the hard way that when there is a breakoff, there are some questions that can never be answered... and there is no such thing as a black and white. No absolute answer that can explain everything. What I am doing now is working on my goals and whenever the thoughts come, I write it down in my journal. In that journal I would acknowledge how I am feeling and ask myself how I am feeling that way. After that page of negative thoughts, I would then note down two most happy things that happened. It might be small, like for example having lunch with my friends and stuff...
Your not alone, when you feel like crying, cry but after that be brave, its dam hard but you have the support of millions other out there who are trying to heal. Most importantly after you moved on, don't lose faith in love.
First thing first! Why do you choose to be anonymous? Reveal who you're :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's the gray area, nothing stays the same and I've to accept it.
I guess your idea of penning your thoughts down in your journal is a really good idea- maybe I should try that. I may learn to count my blessings and in turn, forget about the unhappiness that had took place.
Yep, I will keep the faith, I hope you do as well :)
Thanks for your comment! ^^
P.S/ reveal your identityyyy? :D